Post marathon freak out

Three miles isn’t anything. But today it was. Today it was a lot of something.

Today was my first day back at running since my marathon almost a month ago. There is no point in denying that I am a runner through and through. It is almost like, as much as I don’t feel like running I can’t help it. And it isn’t that I don’t want to run…it would just be easier not to because I am sooooo busy with school. I am the new sports editor for my school newspaper and I love it but it is a lot of work and time and motivation and exhaustion.

Life might be easier if I didn’t run. But who would I be? Am I still the “me” even without running. I thought I could be. I don’t even understand why I felt like not wanting to run after the marathon. Is this normal for other people?

And have I really been feeling better this passed month from not running? No, I don’t think so. My mood and overall emotional health have dropped incredibly low this month…even after the high of running 26 miles. I didn’t even have time to celebrate and feel the accomplishment because right away I had to start doing homework and going back to school and going back to work. Not cool.

But today! Today I feel like myself again, the amazing part of me. If I can just give myself an hour a day to go out and run I can feel whole again.

Because oh man can I tell you I have gained like ten pounds since my marathon. With lack of exercise comes lack of motivation and lack of willpower to want to eat healthy. I have been shoving my face with anything I laid my eyes on without even caring. Now that is not me.

I am getting back on top again. Back to my regular self. The self that I like to be. I don’t want to be lazy and sit on the couch watch Breaking Bad and eating Skittles. It doesn’t even matter how much i love Skittles, I know that is not the life I want to live forever. That is too easy and I like a challenge everyday.