Taking runs for granted

Running solo lately and I am hit with a tinge of shame. When I look back on how I actually complained about needing space, needing my “own thing” and feeling like I was spending too much time with my boyfriend…I don’t even remember what my thought was except I wish I appreciated it more when it was here. Nic has been dealing with a pinched nerve for a few months now. He sits at home in pain and all I want is to go rock climbing or go for a run with him. I miss doing adventurous things together, sharing our passion.

I went for a short run the other day. I really haven’t been running like how I used to. That day just felt different. I woke up and my first thought was, “I feel like running.” As I was putting my shoes on to go I looked over and saw Nic on the couch. Memories that seem so far away swept passed me. Everyday we used to plan a new route together and just go run. I really miss that. I took our runs together for granted because I was finding things to complain about.

We began bonding over chess these days. At least we still have that and I appreciate every moment of it. Even when he beats me.

Head over heel

Oh…my….god….

Never in my life have ever felt such terrible pain in my heel/Achilles/foot. I have always had slight pain, especially when the back of the heel is pressed. But now I feel the pain everyday even when I am not running.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Also, cool side-note. My index toenail may be falling off due to 26.2 miles of running mainly on the balls of my feet. Yeahhh marathon wounds!

 

Found this yoga stretch that will hopefully work. I will test it out and report back

Toe Pose viedo

Post marathon freak out

Three miles isn’t anything. But today it was. Today it was a lot of something.

Today was my first day back at running since my marathon almost a month ago. There is no point in denying that I am a runner through and through. It is almost like, as much as I don’t feel like running I can’t help it. And it isn’t that I don’t want to run…it would just be easier not to because I am sooooo busy with school. I am the new sports editor for my school newspaper and I love it but it is a lot of work and time and motivation and exhaustion.

Life might be easier if I didn’t run. But who would I be? Am I still the “me” even without running. I thought I could be. I don’t even understand why I felt like not wanting to run after the marathon. Is this normal for other people?

And have I really been feeling better this passed month from not running? No, I don’t think so. My mood and overall emotional health have dropped incredibly low this month…even after the high of running 26 miles. I didn’t even have time to celebrate and feel the accomplishment because right away I had to start doing homework and going back to school and going back to work. Not cool.

But today! Today I feel like myself again, the amazing part of me. If I can just give myself an hour a day to go out and run I can feel whole again.

Because oh man can I tell you I have gained like ten pounds since my marathon. With lack of exercise comes lack of motivation and lack of willpower to want to eat healthy. I have been shoving my face with anything I laid my eyes on without even caring. Now that is not me.

I am getting back on top again. Back to my regular self. The self that I like to be. I don’t want to be lazy and sit on the couch watch Breaking Bad and eating Skittles. It doesn’t even matter how much i love Skittles, I know that is not the life I want to live forever. That is too easy and I like a challenge everyday.

And the day arrived

I have been MIA from blogging lately. Yesterday was the big 26.2 for me. I still don’t know if I was ready for it or not.

There were many revelations that came to me on my very, very long run. One, I have no pride left in me. The bad kind of pride that makes me hate when people pass me up. People were passing me every minute and I never caught up with them. Damn, my ego left me and hopefully for good.

The discouragement of this stayed with me for the first 3/4 of my race. Then after shedding a few tears, feeling the pain everywhere in my body, I realized the only person judging me is myself. The people passing me certainly are not judging me and the people cheering at the aid stations aren’t either. All those people know it is difficult running 26 miles is and just doing it, no matter how fast, is still a feat of courage, determination and strength.

My goal was to have a 10 minute mile pace. Let’s be real now. My average pace throughout yesterday’s run was 13:48. I am proud I just completed the run. The time means nothing to me right now because not everyone can say they have done something like that. That was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my entire life, physically and mentally.

Everyone deserves support for something so amazing as pushing your body to the extreme. Without a strong mind it wouldn’t be possible. I learned that yesterday. I don’t need to be the best. I am extremely humbled.

Confessions from race day include:

- I pretended I had to pee just so I could sit down in the portal-potty for a minute because ‘tying your shoes’ is so overdone.

-I kept thinking how much I never want to run a marathon again and perhaps maybe never even run again, which is the second thing I said after finishing. The first thing I said, through mumbling tears and struggles for breathe, was that was the hardest thing I have ever done.

-My first thought waking up this morning was maybe next time I will get five hours. Haha. Runners really are crazy.

Best part of the race include:

-Around mile two or three you cross through Carlsbad Village and when you reach the top you come down the hill toward a beautiful view of the ocean. The moon was still glowing in purple sky, darkness still lingering.

-After mile 21 I was struggling from lack of food energy and an older lady and her friend I was talking to that were running the half marathon offered me grapes and it literally saved my day.

-Seeing Nic running on one of the turn-arounds lifted my spirits so much and gave me a lot of encouragement.

Yesterday, running and I broke up. Today I think we are on the road to recovery.

Moon rise, sun set

Winter sunsets happen at the same time the moon rises over the hills. I had to stop running just to admire how beautiful it was. On one side of me the clouds floated like an ocean dripping crimson. The other side was a bright bulb moon slightly hidden behind a silver veil.

I have been sick, but this past week I have been doing good getting my body back into the groove of things. I was being hard on myself for not running when I was sick, constantly thinking of the miles I was losing, the muscle I was losing.

Now, there is no being afraid of a marathon. I can’t let myself be intimidated anymore. That feeling was good to kick my butt into training, but now the marathon is less than a month away and I am either ready now or not. There is no room for feelings of worry or fear.

On my 7 1/2 mile run the other night I had two brains. One kept telling me I was tired and I could turn around and head back home at every mile. The other brain decided at every mile I could go just a little farther. That second brain won and I felt strong. It was a peaceful run all alone. I pushed my body to charge the hills. And reminded myself not to feel lazy when I ran down them. You ran up the damn thing Susan, you are allowed to run down now!

On this route I always look forward to seeing my favourite tree. Being cooped up in my house for so long I had not noticed all the leaves had fallen off most of the trees. And my favourite tree with half its body orange and its other half red had withered all its colour and leaves as well.

Running in the winter is a lot different than running in the summer. Everything is cold and new challenges are born. Waking up is not as fun and running seems to be more of a job. The only thing that keeps me going right now is passion.

I realized it is not the marathon that keeps me going. I have gotten sick of “training”. I just go running to run and have fun, not because I feel forced to because of the idea of finishing a marathon. That thought could be the death of my love and passion.

Winter Blues

After my last post I got sick. Oh go figure.

I have been nurturing a cough that scares away people at my work. I did run a few times after my last post, trying to fight being sick. But, it grabbed me and I honestly don’t want to run until it goes away. If I keep going outside while still feeling ill, I don’t think it will pass.

This is when I decide…and lay to rest my judgement about treadmills…should I just run inside to keep myself in marathon shape? Or can I bounce back from this?

There is more than one month until the big day. January 19 is creeping up and I have faith in myself, but don’t I need to consider my body and it’s abilities?

In the last two or three weeks I have only squeezed in one long run. That is substandard to me, to my body. I need more than that.

That is the winter marathon training blues.

Welcome back

I am welcoming myself back. Back into the world of blogging and in running.

There are days that we feel start us over, on a path with a better perspective. And today is that day for me. Though, I feel I have a lot of those days.

Running has brought me humility and compassion. More than I thought I had before. I had a bad day at work and when I reflect on why, I can only come to the conclusion that it all comes down to my attitude. If I have a shitty attitude then everything around me is going to seem shitty.

I can always start over. Its just another day to learn and to grow.

After not running for a week I feel different. Like life is too easy. HAHA. Perhaps I like pain. No, no that’s not it. I gauge my life by the challenges I have set up for myself.

I ran three miles on Monday, which marked the end of my six days without running. Skipped to Friday (yesterday) for a planned 17.6 mile run on the Oceanside bike trail that parallels the 76 highway. Made it 12 miles. Man oh man that 12 mile point.

~Sigh~

I have been introduced to my own version of a stalemate. I have not been able to get passed 13 miles so far. Yesterday at mile nine my knee…I think or the ligaments in the back of the knee…started to throb with the most pain I have ever, ever felt because of running.

I pushed through all the way until mile 12 and I just could not go any farther. So we hitched a ride 5 miles away from our car from a cool hippie guy from Hawaii.

All day my knee or wherever the pain is stemming from has been on fire. So after work I went on a short three miler and iced it right after. It feels pretty good so far.

Just gotta push through the initial pain to let it get back to normal.